With cancer things can happen rapidly. And we are, all of us, inexorably, moving on.
Just Saturday I received the following comment from Denise, a member of our little blogging community: “Shades of Blue (ovarian), Shoppingkarma (ovarian)and Livingwithcancer (Breast) are all now in hospice care. Pateeta, Jayne and Daria are wonderful women whom have provided me with courage and inspiration. If you have prayers to send, I’m sure they’d be happy to receive. God Bless all who suffer.”
Before writing the post I checked on all three, only to discover that Daria Maluta (Living with Cancer) has died. When I first started Being Cancer, not really knowing in what direction this site would go, I would search out and visit various personal cancer blogs, wanting to build a little blogroll. On nearly every blog I discovered, I noticed a little note of encouragement from a woman named Daria. Eventually I received my own note. Indeed every time I would come down with a virus or infection, I could count on a short note from her.
I try to keep tabs on nearly 1400 bloggers so I know a little about this unique community. But Daria is surely the most prolific commenter that I have encountered. By her comments you always felt as if you knew her, that she was a friend, that she was in your corner along side you, fighting your fight. You knew with her few gentle words that she understood what you were going through. She had an amazing effect on dozens and dozens of survivors whom she never met. Daria will be missed and mourned.
Her death reminds us of the fear that underscores all of our writing. In featuring Guest Posts I try to celebrate those moments of clarity, those elegant epiphanies that serve to enlighten us all, to give voice to our collective suffering and triumphs. Those brilliant moments captured in prose and sometimes in poetry lend meaning and purpose to our experience with that demon called Cancer. I sometimes revel in the rich detail and nuance found in the writing. Reading becomes its own kind of pleasurable experience. It soothes. It caresses. It strokes our thoughts and emotions.
So we sometimes forget that what gives the power to those words, what gives the authority to that experience is that, with cancer, we are all flirting with our mortality. At some time since I diagnosis, we have stood on the doorstep of Death, pushed open the door and peeked inside. This is the source of power in our blogging – though we do not write for power. We write because, for whatever reason, we need to. In Daria we have lost a good one – but she has moved on…