I spent 8 hours at the Indiana State Fair yesterday with my 4 year old and 15 month old granddaughters. Their mother, Dorothy, went with us. But by the end of the day we both were exhausted while Sophie was still the Eveready bunny. Elephant ears, ice cream, pizza, snow cones and more. Sophie learned to milk a cow and was very impressed to see a giant sow feeding six little piglets.
The kids are spent the night. Their mom is taking her nursing boards today and wanted a stress-free (relatively speaking) evening and morning to mentally prepare. By the time we fixed dinner, put them both in the tub, had our treats and got the girls ready for bed, I was barely moving. I had to drag myself to the computer. Fortunately, with the high quality of blogging out there, it only took me a few minutes to discover our Guest Post for this week.
A breast-cancer survivor, she runs a daycare and writes in Amber’s Journey which is subtitled “Be Your Own Advocate”. She presents some interesting and well-written thoughts.
We have all heard “Karma’s a bitch” at some point in our lives. This line has been in my mind for days or in reality a few weeks. As I heal from surgery still, deal with breathing issues and just a constant feeling of uncomfortableness. I think back over my life and wonder quietly, was this deserved. I am no perfect girl, bar far. I have made some huge mistakes, created havoc at times and caused pain not only to myself but others as well. Some of you may not believe in Karma, you may not believe in Buddha or his philosophy at all. Some of you may believe in Jesus or God, Jesus said “Do unto others as you would have done to you.” this falls along the lines similar to Buddha’s belief in Karma or at least what we may think of Karma. What I have believed about Karma, is what we do, our actions cause an effect. Bad actions cause bad effects.
When you get a serious illness, or face death head on, you challenge your thinking at times all of your thinking. You may look at your past and see your mistakes and wonder if you caused what is happening now. I know I have been dealing with this daily. I am asking questions, I question my previous actions and wonder if I brought this on, did I bring on cancer?
Then I did some more research on Karma, Karma is misinterpreted so I am finding. Karma is about intentions. Do we intentionally do bad things, or do we try and be a good person who makes mistakes. Sin is what Jesus says our mistakes are, we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. Then comes forgiveness and grace. This is the point I need to get too, I need to stop looking in the past, at mistakes and wondering if I am being punished or being taught a lesson. One can eat a soul up with guilt.
Karma can go both ways, you can bring good forth into this world. I am a good person, who makes mistakes yes but overall a good person. Whether or not Karma is true I am letting it go, I can no longer wonder if I am paying for my sins….
I am moving forward, I am choosing to live a full life, I may be in some pain most days but it is OK, I would rather be uncomfortable and here in my families life then not here at all. Cancer has given me a gift, I question everything and it is empowering. We all need to step back and question life… question ourselves and challenge ourselves to live a better fuller life. I am asking the question is Karma true…maybe it is or maybe it is not, either way I am realizing I can no longer hold onto the past by looking backwards. My life begins today, this moment I am creating my destiny…
from: Amber’s Journey