I just spent a little time googling “cancer blogs” and had a little of the same experience the last time I did this. I find a nice blog – “hey, this look’s interesting…I think I’ll bookmark it!” Then I notice the entry date – 6 months ago, twelve, 2 years, five. Of course, I think the worse at first. Maybe we all do. Another blog has died, has succumbed to the cancer demon.
Or not. Maybe they just relapsed and need all their energy into achieiving a subsequent and more difficult remission. Or maybe they’re totally cured and want to forget this also, want to return to pre-morbid normalcy. They just want to live a ‘regular’ life and don’t want a blog to remind them of the hell they went through.
Maybe they feel they gave all they could, Now it’s somebody’s else’s turn to carry the torch. Seem unlikely, unlikely that someone could turn their back and leave everything behind – even the good things, even the graces that followed the cancer in unexpected whisps and waves. But the cancer monster does wear us, and change us in so, so many ways large and small, obvious club-you-over-the-head ways and in ways more subtle and fleeting.
Or maybe this missing cancer victim is surviving so well, is savoring life so much that any extra time for blogging has been squeezed out. Away on a cruise, languishing on some secluded beach, backpacking on some mountain retreat, or stretching out an indefinitely extended vacation to a destination dreamed about for years and finally, miraculously, come to fruition with the rebirth of full remission.
Or maybe it was the miracle of a new relationship that lured them away from their obsessive blogging habit – a new lover, a new spouse, a new child, grandchild?
So, I will try, in the future, when I stumble across some blog that seems now long-forgotten, to think first not necessarily of death but rather the harbinger of better things and of dreams come true.